Being sensitive
Disclaimer
The information on this blog is not intended as a substitute for professional medical and/or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment. This blog is intended for informational purposes only. Any health concern must be assessed by a doctor or another licensed and/or certified clinician.
I am not going to lie. During all of my adolescence (which ends at age 25 by the way), I thought I was a bit dumb and stupid. It did not help that a looooott of people treated me like I was dumb and stupid OR they just did not understand me; either way, relating to people was very challenging. Even then I knew I was absorbing a lot of other people’s opinions about me, it is very difficult to not absorb that. I remember I often felt overwhelmed when I was around a lot of other people. I would cringe at small talk and find solace when I had tasks to do when I had to be around other people. When I was a teenager, I would occasionally go to football games to hang out with friends and when all of the people, emotions, stress, noise and other input got to be too much; I would take out the book I brought with me and use it as a way to focus and attempt to block out all of the information that was coming in.
I think I was 30 when I came across the term Highly Sensitive Person. (Quick tangent: I don’t prefer that particular order of words to describe us. I do prefer Sensory Processing Sensitivity. SPS emphasizes sensory information; it is more about what we actually do and how we experience the world, we process MORE information; we are more tuned in. The wording for HSP just reminds me of all the times I was told, “You’re toooooo SENSITIVE”. It is interesting how childhood stuff sticks around….)
I remember first reading about this biological trait and felt the first nudges of realization and relief. FINALLY, some validation. I am not Crazy, just misunderstood. Since first discovering some of the research about this characteristic and continuing to learn more about it and how I perceive the world; it has gotten easier to understand myself, to practice self-compassion and to continue to learn all of the things about myself. How to communicate my boundaries more directly, understanding how I process emotions, and especially tuning into my limits when it comes to the energy I expend. Developing self-awareness and then acting like your own kind, nurturing parent takes a lot of work. I am not perfect at it but I have noted the ways I have been able to prioritize my basic needs such as sleep, exercise, nourishing food and protecting myself from people who are more absorbed by their own agendas and will forsake my well-being. I know, for me, having a profound and meaningful relationship to myself has been and continues to be a worthwhile adventure of claiming and actively protecting my sovereignty.
“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt”.--Shakespeare
Annndddd
“Sweet are the uses of adversity which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head”.--Shakespeare
